Coitus Corrupted

They taught me…

Adding a lot more weight to each letter of what was considered forbidden fruit, each letter spelling out the unmentioned, shamelessly stripping off what covered my nakedness as I understood hers, as I understood what happens when we come together bare, unclothed, and full of desire.

It was just a thought at first, one I couldn’t comprehend, especially at my tender age of approximately 2920 days after birth. But I did partly understand, I understood from the look on their faces, and their hushed tones that this was one thing that was a shame to mention, a shame to delve into, a shame to think about. So I became silent, observing, just listening to the muted expressions of disgust at the thought of it, the thought of wanting it…

Another 96 full moons had passed and the world as I knew it had turned a shade close to indigo, I understood it better, much better, but… I had to understand it on my own, alone in the shadows, without a whisper or voice, in silence, only interrupted by a moan to remind me that I had indeed understood, and understood well, too well.

There is a word that comes before “…the bad and the ugly” a word that I didn’t know at the time, a word I had learnt when I had already thought it was too late, a word that held the key to free me from my imprisonment, from my ‘understanding’.

Good…

I was mystified, how could this be a good thing, how was it right in any way, how had I never associated it with such a positive word, a positive thought?

Good…

I was once told that it felt good when she didn’t feel like she was forgotten, when she didn’t feel forgotten in the moment, much like a conversation… Wait, should I have heard that, should I have learnt that, should I have committed it to memory? I must say now that I didn’t regret it, but should I have? I don’t think so.

Good…

“For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is to be received with thanksgiving.”- 1 Tim 4:4

So if God made it then it must be good… but is it really? I’d like to believe so.

As I sat watching two little girls look over books in a book store I watched their reaction as they came across a book that mentioned it on its cover, “We shouldn’t read this book, its bad, its evil…”

They understood me, they were me at 2920 days of life after birth, but I also understood that 96 full moons later their world would turn indigo, in silence, shame, solace, hopelessness.

Good…

“And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” – Gen 2:25

This is it, this is it right here, God created humanity and made them naked with no shame, no solace, full of desire, and it was a good thing.

I see it now, I see its beauty, I see its value, I see its good, I see its intent, I see its expression, and I see its creator.

I am a son of Adam that longs to look at my Eve’s nakedness with no shame, and make love to her knowing that I am doing good by it.

I am an author, thousands of years  after he wrote his sensual song to her, anticipating my own melody and lyric, preparing my ink and my quilt to not only pen it down but demonstrate that expression of love.

I am a musician much like Sean Carter that would one day love to hear my wife say,” You’re mine” getting her drunk in love.

I am an unmarried man who is willing to wait, not out of fear or shame but out of awe at such an amazing expression that gives commitment one of its highest rewards, sexual intimacy.

So how dare I, and how dare you think or talk of it as anything less than good, no no, great, such a gift that should be treasured and taught well.

Sex is a beautiful thing...